Wednesday, July 28, 2004

How to Kill Your Executive Assistant...and Not Get Caught

As you either know (because you know me) or could guess by reading my grumblings here here, my executive assistant (EA from now on) is a large pain in my ass. I think she has now made it her mission in life to make my worklife miserable.

Between the incessant LOUD personal phone calls on company lines, cell phone calls, changing ring tones on her cell phone, writing papers for her night class and other irritating things that obviously should not be done on work time, she still manages to piss me off by shirking responsibility for anything and everything, asking stupid questions and being incompetent in general.

Therefore, I have decided that I must devise a way to kill her.

But, be warned, I like my job and my I can't get caught. Monday I was thinking that death by suffocation from her own cell phone being shoved down her throat would be appropriate. Today I'm thinking it may be more fun to incorporate a stapler.

Any ideas out there?


Blogger myllissa said...

I'm an Executive Admin Assistant, or more affectionately, the secretary. I have seen other EAs behave like this and it drives me crazy. Our job is to make our boss's life easier, not more difficult. Although, because of slackers like your EA, I look like an angel to all of the people I have worked for.

8/05/2004 6:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

4/19/2005 5:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

take a long time to be nice to her real nice not sexual just nice then about maybe a year later either forget about it or go out of town the get a retal car and go to her somehow without geting recignized then slice her throat go back out of town rid your self of the knife and make it good like in your neighbors knife set and go back then go one acting like you miss her hard work and bam find out shes dead and act like it hurts act real good

5/15/2005 12:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8/12/2005 4:26 PM  
Anonymous Amy said...

Your language and your attitude sure doesn't seem to me like you are a Christian, as you claim to be.

If you are unhappy with her behavior, give warnings, write her up or fire her. That kind of behavior should not be allowed in the work place and you have the responsibility to put an end to the behavior. Ultimately this falls back on you.

And if you want to try to create a more professional atmosphere, try behaving a little more professional yourself.

1/23/2006 10:16 PM  
Blogger Cat said...

Dear Amy,

I understand that you must be Christian-like in everything YOU do. I, however, admit that I am sometimes a less than saint-like being. Why not comment on something current in my blog instead of an entry from a year and a half ago? Time passes and people change, you know.


1/24/2006 5:58 AM  

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