Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Second Thoughts

So, in all honesty, I'm not loving my job today.

More than that, I'm seriously questioning the decision to move to Florida for it.

And those, my friend, are possibly the most difficult words I have had to admit to in a long time.

In the past 36 hours:
-I've been publicly praised for the wonderful work I've done in transition for my company
-I've been publicly praised for the stellar sales results I've produced in the last 6 months.
-I've been privately assured that I have an internal career path at this company.

AND YET:
-I've been 'demoted' from 'manager' down TWO levels to 'specialist'

Go figure. We had an all-staff on-site meeting, in which we discuss the status of the company as of this particular month. I recieved MULTIPLE public affirmations and acknowledgements of the stellar work I've done in the last six months and last two months, since moving to Florida, specifically...and integrating our new Florida-native staff into the fold.

It just feels so hard to reconcile all of this absolutely positive feedback about my work with a 'demotion'...regardless of the internal reorganization going on. I guess it might feel better if I had gotten ANY kind of criticism or negative feedback.

This is really thowing my whole 'career path' into a tailspin.

And to add insult to injury, I found out this evening that my baby is in for some seriously intensive treatment that will test my patience. Max is really my baby, so I know we need to do whatever we have to in order to get him back to 100%, but it's such a hard EMOTIONAL thing to get past, knowing he'll have to be crated 23 hours a day.

This is turning out to be not only a tough week, but a SERIOUSLY difficult week to be away from home.

As an aside: It's strange to think of 'home' as Florida, but it's really where Craig and the dogs are...whereever I can take my shoes off and just be me, without fear of reprocussions or judgement or pretenses.

AND I AM MISSING HOME TODAY MORE THAN I HAVE IN AGES.

This fighting back tears in the name of my 'professional development' is getting quite old and giving me a manic headache.

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