Person: So, when are you due?!
Me: 4 days ago.
Person: How are you feeling?
Person: But you look pretty good...are you feeling miserable yet?
Me: No. In fact, I feel pretty great.
Person: Well, then you must not be ready.
(in my head, I'm giving them the look of death and imagining all of the horrible ways I could hurt them)
Me: (tight-smiling) Funny you should say that...