Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Scare Tactics

During Craig's orientation for his MBA program, they hosted a Q&A and reception for the spouses/partners. The spouses attended the Q&A separately from the 'students'. In the session, there was a woman who recalled how she went from having home responsibilities split 50-50 to doing everything pretty much on her own. She talked about how she spent so many nights alone because her husband would be in class, studying or meeting with his group on a project. Pretty much everyone in that room was scared shitless. I know I was. At the time, I was 8.5 months pregnant. When I met up with Craig afterwards at the reception, I was VERY tempted to tell him to withdraw from the program.

As it turned out, his first class was less than 24 hours after Truman was born. I was still in the hospital and he drove downtown to attend class. I'm sure he got major points from the professor for that one. I will never have to wonder how far along he is in his program because it will always be the same age as Truman. Right now, we're about 5 months in to a 2 year program.

And things haven't been nearly as bad as the woman had warned...well, not until recently. This past week, I've started to feel somewhat like a single mother.

Craig leaves for work at 6:45am and hasn't been getting home until after Truman and I are tucked in to bed (some time after 10:00pm). Because I've been getting up early to work out, we haven't even been sleeping in the same bedroom so he doesn't wake me when he gets home late and I don't wake him when I get up early. If he sees Truman at all, it's for less than an hour in the morning while he's getting ready for work.

I knew that it was going to be tough. And I still stand by his decision to do his MBA now rather than when Truman is older and can remember him not being around OR when we have more than one child to consider. But I still find myself actively having to have my head talk to my heart. Because I really like my husband. I enjoy his company. And he's an AWESOME Daddy.

I know that as hard as this feels for me to be responsible for Truman all the time, it has to be even harder for him to be away so often.

Maybe this all seems so acute right now because this is finals week. Last week he was busy with preparing for finals and this week he's busy studying and taking them. But maybe it's just the way things are going to have to be for a while. He doesn't get any break in between classes. A new slate of courses start next week and he already has homework and reading assigned.

Even with his homework, though, I'm hoping to spend a bit of time together as a family this weekend: Shakespeare Dallas on Friday, a golf tournament together on Saturday, and a nice family dinner on Sunday for Father's Day. All this to say that I love my husband. I'm so proud of him for going back to school. And I miss him terribly.


Blogger Carrie Fairy Thoughts said...

Hang in there - When Josh went to Pharmacy school it was like that for me. It wasn't the same exactly cause I didn't have a child. It was a long 4 years - 10 years all together (Bachelors, 2 years pre-pharm, and then Pharmacy school)...it was very hard and I missed him so much. But we made it through it and I am so proud of him. You can do this Catrina. Hang in there...

6/17/2009 2:47 AM  

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